So here it is, almost May 2008, and I am not ripped as I said I would be. In fact, I am sitting (un)comfortably at my highest weight. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks, but I believe I am sitting somewhere between 235 and 240. I don't think I have ever actually hit 240. Fortunately, my body seems to level off and stop gaining before I hit that point. That's it for the good news. The bad news, of course, is that I have not been making any progress in the past year or so.
I was doing very good in the early part of 2007. I was running regularly (on the treadmill) and was gearing up for my first 5k. I was also starting to add a little weight-lifting. I was eating pretty well. I was losing about 8 pounds per month and was not pushing myself to lose too quickly. I was content to take it slow and easy, anticipating that it would take a year or so to lose all the fat.
All seemed to be going well until the day of the 5k. I had been working toward this for quite some time and was really looking forward to it. My wife and two oldest sons were doing the race as well. My daughter was doing the shorter one-mile race. We were all excited about it, although I think I was the most excited. This was my first race and we were doing it as a family. I imagined this would be the first of many such events we would do together as a family. This, I thought, would be the driving force behind my efforts to get in shape. In other words, preparing for, and running, these races would provide the motivation I would need to get - and stay - in shape.
I had been running regularly (on the treadmill) and was up to something like three, three-mile runs per week. I was running three miles in about 30 minutes or so. As such, I anticipated that I would finish the 5k in something like 30-35 minutes. Instead, it took more like 45 minutes. We ran on lumpy grass that was bad for my ankles and made my feet muscles ache like never before. What's worse, the race started with a pretty steep hill, which we had to go up three times (as it was a three-lap race around a schoolyard). I did not get half-way up the hill before I had to slow to a walk.
In fact, I ended up having to walk a lot during the race. This was very discouraging to me because I thought I had finally reached the point where I could jog three miles without having to stop. I felt out of breath and fatigued the whole race. I felt miserable and thought it would never end. I spent most of the race in last place. There was only one other person even close to me, as the pack had moved on and left two of us far behind. I eventually forced myself to pass this other person because I was determined not to finish dead last. I thought she might pass me back at the end, but I sprinted to the finish, with everything I had, to make sure that didn't happen.
While I found the race a very discouraging experience, I had no idea at the time just how much of a setback it would turn out to be. I thought I would take a few days off then get back on the treadmill and start working toward the July 4 race. But, as it turned out, I just did not have it in me. I did not get back on the treadmill in a few days - or even a few weeks. In fact, I don't think I have run even one time since that miserable 5k experience.
After struggling so much with a 5k, I knew there was no way I could handle the July 4 race. So, again, my wife (and sons) ran it without me. It was quite an emotional experience for me standing with all the parade watchers, waiting for my wife and sons to run by as the parade was starting. I was very proud of them and very disappointed in myself.
Unfortunately, disappointment and discouragement have never been very motivating to me. Instead of getting back into it, I resigned myself to the notion that I just don't have it in me to get in shape. And so, another year has come and gone and I'm still as fat and out of shape as ever. I do try not to pig out too much, but I have not been getting any exercise at all.
I did have one false start a few months ago. I renewed my gym membership and went about three times the first week. It felt great to be lifting weights again, but it was very short-lived. It started out OK as my first couple of workouts were just 20-minute circuits to get my muscles used to lifting again. However, as I always do, I then jumped in with both feet and did too much, too soon. I printed out a long and arduous workout off the internet and put it to the test. It took about one hour to complete and I left the gym feeling completely, utterly exhausted. I haven't been back since.
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