Just like after our Carribean cruise, I completely lost my motivation after our recent trip to Hawaii. Actually, I did pretty good at first. Although in my last post I said I was going to stick with the program rather than pushing myself to do the twenty minute run, I actually did the twenty minute run. It was good, though. I decided I would just start out slow and easy and keep up a slow, steady pace for as long as I could. I was really surprised that I did the full twenty minutes.
The next few times out, I ran twenty minutes non-stop. But something strange happened. Instead of enjoying my newfound ability to run twenty minutes, I began finding it dreadfully boring. I was unprepared for this. From the time I first started running, I loved my morning runs. I hated my days off. Even though I was only running a minute or two at a time, I loved the feeling. I loved being out there strengthening my body and increasing my stamina. I especially loved the progress I was making. I longed for the day when I could run twenty minutes straight with no walking breaks.
So it really took me by surprise when, the very day I achieved my goal of running twenty minutes non-stop, my sense of accomplishment was overshadowed by a stronger sense of boredom. The next few times out it was the same. I couldn't wait for the twenty minutes to be over. Twice I tried a different route and even increased my time to thirty minutes. Still nothing but boredom. Even bringing my mp3 player did not help much. After only a few of these dreadfully boring two-mile runs, I started out one day and, after only a half mile, I turned around and came home. I think that may have been my last run.
It's been a couple months now since I've been out and I haven't done any other exercise either. Other than eating, of course. I stocked my cupboards with Hostess cakes and Oreos, Little Debbie cakes and Milanos. I have not gained all my fat back, but I'm getting close.
In desperation, I have come to my own blog hoping to find some motivation. I am hoping I can get back what I had five months ago. What was driving me then and where is it now? I know for certain the upcoming trip to Hawaii was a great motivator for me. Now it is history and I don't plan on going again next year. However, I have several family reunions this year and I'd like to be able to go swimming without being self-conscious of my belling hanging down to my knees.
And what about the race in July? Well, it is two weeks from today and I have not been out running for at least two months. And my longest runs were two miles. So I don't see how I can manage a 7+ mile run in two weeks. My wife is still planning on doing the race. She has continued to run although her motivation has also been waning.
The good news is that I did come to the blog today and, after reading some of my posts and writing out my thoughts, I feel a little spark. I actually feel a desire to get out and run again. I want to be strong and healthy. I absolutely hate being fat! Although it is incredibly hard to stay motivated for the months and years that it takes to make the change, I am not ready to throw in the towel. Most of my snack cakes and cookies are gone. I plan to not buy any more. Starting tomorrow, maybe even today, I am taking up running again. I am also going to buy a weight bench and start lifting again. It's time to get back in the ring and go another round.
Ding ding . . .
