I'm still alive. For now.

Yeah, I'm still alive. But I've gone through a serious bout of depression and have become more fat that I've ever been. In addition, I am anxious and stressed out all the time.

I've always thought I would live a long life -- at least 80-90 years. However, with all the stress I feel all the time, and with my weight gain and high cholesterol, I have started to wonder if I will be one of those who have a heart-attack before they even hit 50. I'm 38 now and so out of shape I can barely stand up from a squatting position without holding on to something.

Of course the reason I am looking at my fitness blog right now is because I am trying to reverse this downward spiral. My mom has put together a Biggest Loser type contest with six two-person teams. We all have stupid team names like "skinny gunnabees" but one of my sisters and her husband named their team The Champions. And they honestly believe the contest is going to be a cakewalk for them to win. Apparently they underestimate the competitive spirits my wife and I have.

We started this past Friday (four days ago) and we are off to a pretty good start. I have been doing great with healthy eating and avoiding the junk food. But I've been a little slow getting the exercise going. I've been doing a few squats and push-ups here and there trying to get my muscles used to working again, but I really need to pick up the pace on the exercise. I walked for a mile and a half on the treadmill this morning and plan to start walking every day -- and eventually start running.

In fact, my wife and I are going to do the Couch to 5K program that I did a few years ago. On off-days, I plan to get back on the bicycle. If I can get into a routine of alternating running and cycling I will not only lose weight, but I will feel a lot better as well. I know the cycling I did last year was great for relieving stress.

So, I weighed in Friday morning at 250 with 42.6% bodyfat. That means I have at least 85 pounds of fat to lose. I guess I may have to change my 2009 pic to say 2010, since there's no way I'll see my abs in 2009. But I see no reason why I can't lose 60-70 pounds in 2009 and work on the rest for spring of 2010.